Poor guy, he’s had a tough day I must admit. I was standing RIGHT THERE at the park as he fell of a two story slide flat onto his stomach. Usually I just let him run free while G crawls all over the place and I just check to see where he is about every 2 minutes. But this time I was standing RIGHT THERE as he somehow managed to fall of the top of the slide. I believe he was walking up it in bear crawl position and tumbled over. You know what I said secretly in my head as he cried in my lap (mostly out of embarrassment)? “Should have listened to me…I told you no walking up the slide!” But I kept my mouth shut and hugged him and told him he was okay. Then I mentioned the words, “time to go home” which every mom knows is the on switch of a mental breakdown. It’s not because he fell off the slide, it was literally time to go home. Simply bad timing of the fall if you ask me 🙂
Peter’s new job now is to open the garage door. I gave him the extra door opener to keep in the cup holder of his car seat (which 99% of the time he insists I take it back–see weird toddler!). As we approached the house he was still mad about having to come home so what did I do?? Forgot to let him open the garage door. My kid isn’t very good with words so it sounded much like this, “UH OH MOMMA!! UH OH!!! MOMMA!!! UH OH UH OH UH OH!!!” and I’ve just about had it at this point and as I turn around to say, “WHAT IS THE MATTER?!” I then realize he is pointing at the garage door opening. Duh. “My bad. Next time you can do it, okay?” <<hands him the remote>> “Here, you can shut it”, which he proceeds to yell “uh oh” at me. So what do I do? Yes, I absolutely did back down the driveway and shut the door, turned around and gave him the remote so he can open it himself. Why? Because today is all about the path of least resistance.
Fast forward to nap time. I’m trying to read him a book after his 16th mental breakdown today and he keeps saying over and over, “Bite Momma, bite!” <—repeat 22 times, as I’m reading on a page that a kid witch had brought cupcakes to school. I said, “Yes, those are cupcakes, yum!” and he just kept doing it…over…and over….and over….you catch my point. So I said, “Ok Peter, SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”, which I really hate doing because he is so far behind on talking but my patience is wearing thin. I felt horrible because all during the next book (his favorite which he loves to point to everything and tell me what it is) he didn’t say a word. He just pointed and I said, “What is it?” and he would just shake his head. Terrible mom moment.
I finish reading the last book, tuck him in and go to put up his baby gate (yet another thing he doesn’t need but insists on it being up when he is sleeping <—-weird toddler) and he keeps saying, “UH OH MOMMA! UH OH!” over and over and over. I cannot figure out what he is saying while half pointing to the opposite wall and half pointing down at his comforter. It took a lot of, “What is it?” and “What is uh-oh?” before I walked over to him and saw that his closet door is open <—-weird toddler. The past 2-3 weeks he has insisted on his closet door being shut. My husband has figured out that he thinks my breast pump (which is in a black messenger bag) is a monster. If you would have asked me 3 months ago, I would have agreed that indeed it is a monster. He doesn’t say “monster” though, he just points and goes, “Ahhhh! Momma! WAHHHH!” and growls. That is monster.
And that is my weird toddler, and we are only halfway through the day, oy vey!